Republican Candidate For Michigan Legislature Has Masturbation Issue
On the left, courtesy of the Michigan Department of Corrections, Jordan David Haskins is seen before he began serving a year-long term in state prison. On the right is Haskins, taken by The Saginaw News after the then-23-year-old filed as the lone Republican candidate to run for the Michigan House of Representatives 95th District seat in 2014.Just keep away from my car, you muthatfucka!
Jordan D. Haskins has multiple felony convictions for masturbating in public. This is likely not a good resume point to run as a Republican or, possibly, any other party, if you wish to serve in public office.
Among the laundry list of of previous charges, this happened:
Haskins admitted to police that, on both occasions, he broke into the yard where vehicles were parked, incident reports from the Saginaw County Sheriff’s Department show. He said he pulled spark plug wires on sheriff, mosquito control and other vehicles parked there.
“Jordan would remove the spark plug wires and sit in the car and masturbate while the motor was sparking and making noises,” the police report states…
According to that incident report, Haskins again said that he damaged county vehicles by pulling spark plug wires to “masturbate while cranking the engine.” Deputies said he told them the act is a sexual fetish he learned about online.
Jake June 28th, 2014 at 9:42 am
Maybe that’s what Darryl Issa was doing when he torched his car?
fancypants June 28th, 2014 at 10:07 am
Jordan D. Haskins, 24, has served prison time in two states and is not allowed to vote, serve on a jury or own a firearm – See more at: http://www.opposingviews.com/i/politics/felon-gop-candidate-once-arrested-breaking-county-cars-perform-sexual-fetish#sthash.WBtY7xHJ.dpuf
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Maybe they should take the courts advise by saying your not allowed to vote for Jordan D haskins ?
Roctuna June 28th, 2014 at 10:27 am
Not to be outdone, this wingnut sees dead people, sort of
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/06/27/loser-in-ok-primary-claims-victory-because-gop-opponent-is-dead-replaced-by-android/
AttilatheBlond June 28th, 2014 at 8:09 pm
Interesting campaign strategy: Declare the winner is a robot and try to convince everyone ‘all those votes are belong to me’.
We really need to reconsider the Reagan approach to mental health care.
labman57 June 28th, 2014 at 11:54 am
“Jordan would remove the spark plug wires and sit in the car and masturbate while the motor was sparking and making noises,”
He was simply inspired to polish his own fuel injector, if ya know what I mean.
Eric Trommater June 28th, 2014 at 6:37 pm
I wrote this on the FON version of this article too but at least he didn’t admit to doing “horrible things to animals” when he was younger like Thad Cochran.
fancypants June 28th, 2014 at 11:10 pm
Jordan better keep his ass out of Tennessee or they will hook him up to a gas dryer outlet while he sits in a wood chair.
granpa.usthai June 29th, 2014 at 2:00 am
he would make a wonderful addition to any of Issa’s many many very expensive show and snow FAILED hearings.
butt
takes a whole lot of practice to be able to maintain a calm composure when on national TV.
fantagor June 29th, 2014 at 2:02 am
The specificity of his perversion makes me think he once mated with a Transformer.
R.J. Carter June 30th, 2014 at 6:05 pm
Somewhere out there is a cake sitter who’s thinking, “This dude has problems!”