Man Crashes Into Utah House After 36 Beers
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D.B. Hirsch is a political activist, news junkie, and retired ad copy writer and spin doctor. He lives in Brooklyn, New York.
Real news. With snark, invective, and lots of links. Guaranteed behaving badly.
bluejayray March 31st, 2015 at 11:27 pm
It’s a wonder he’s alive. That’s a lot of alcohol.
Jack E Raynbeau April 1st, 2015 at 12:19 pm
Not in Utah. Our beer is 3.2 or less. 😉
Larry Schmitt April 1st, 2015 at 12:46 pm
Even at 3.2, 36 is a lot of alcohol.
Jack E Raynbeau April 1st, 2015 at 12:56 pm
Hence the winkie. So many people here think that out of state beer is all 6%. It’s not.
Larry Schmitt April 1st, 2015 at 12:58 pm
So if I buy a Sierra Nevada, which is 5% here, in Utah, it’s 3.2? What about on tap?
Jack E Raynbeau April 1st, 2015 at 1:08 pm
Sierra Nevada (aka heavy beer), all wine, and liquor is only available at the state (Mormon) liquor store or at a bar or restaurant with a liquor license. Our grocery stores carry nothing stronger than 3.2% by weight which is approx 4% by volume. There is nothing above 3.2 available on tap in Utah. This is what happens in a Theocracy.
Larry Schmitt April 1st, 2015 at 1:11 pm
That sucks. There are so many good beers on tap. I’m amazed that the state of Utah is even willing to sell liquor in the first place. Virginia has ABC stores, and that’s the only place you can buy distilled spirits. The government has no business being in the liquor business.
Jack E Raynbeau April 1st, 2015 at 1:16 pm
It’s a huge issue here. If you’re interested you can get a great insight into the political climate here at http://www.sltrib.com/news/
The state sells liquor because there’s so much money involved.
Larry Schmitt April 1st, 2015 at 1:26 pm
And money trumps principles every time.
Larry Schmitt April 1st, 2015 at 1:28 pm
I thought you were going to link to the Deseret News.
Jack E Raynbeau April 1st, 2015 at 1:30 pm
No, I don’t do the Church News. Comments are heavily censored.
This one’s funny:
http://www.sltrib.com/news/politics/2330862-155/rolly-obamas-utah-visit-military-exercise
Larry Schmitt April 1st, 2015 at 1:43 pm
Best kind of April Fool’s joke. Not so outrageous as to make it unbelievable. It sounded perfectly plausible, and it wouldn’t surprise me to find that some nutjobs had done exactly what was described in the article.
bluejayray April 1st, 2015 at 4:11 pm
Yeah but 36 of them?
Apocalypse April 1st, 2015 at 3:05 am
Six 6-packs + cocaine?
bpollen April 1st, 2015 at 4:10 am
So a powdered-alcohol and cocaine mixture wouldn’t be a good choice for the compassionate drug dealer worried about synergistic effects?
Apocalypse April 1st, 2015 at 4:45 am
No, but it might be recommended by an unscrupulous dealer to cultivate an addict by increasing the pleasure and duration of the drug.
.
bpollen April 1st, 2015 at 5:51 am
That reminds me of something. Oh, what was it… I kinda remember a cowboy smoking by a campfire, a cool camel that smokes unfiltered, and Saint Ronnie shilling for a company named after furniture… Sorry, can’t think of it.
fahvel April 1st, 2015 at 3:30 am
when ya gotta pee, you gotta pee!!!
bpollen April 1st, 2015 at 4:01 am
After 36 road-sodas, you GOTTA pee! Or explode. I suggest the former.
Warman1138 April 1st, 2015 at 7:43 am
Luck, just luck that no one was seriously hurt.
Larry Schmitt April 1st, 2015 at 10:04 am
“Suspicion of DUI.” That’s pretty funny. And what the hell is “negligent collision?” Legal terms can be amusing.
Jack E Raynbeau April 1st, 2015 at 12:21 pm
We have strange laws here. God is the real governor of Utah.
anothertoothpick April 1st, 2015 at 11:10 am
I wonder if he was singing that old, much beloved song “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall”? But he could only get to 36 bottles of beer…(on the wall).
anothertoothpick April 1st, 2015 at 11:13 am
lyrics.